The Office: Top Michael Scott Quotes - Season 2

I'm back with my top Michael Scott quotes from season 2 of The Office.  So get out your half-naked rubber woman and prepare your best "that's what she said" as we jump right into it.

Michael introduces Ping, his oriental character, at The Dundees
Michael introduces Ping, his oriental character, at The Dundees

15. Episode: "The Dundies"

"TMI?  Too much information.  Uh, It's just easier to say TMI.  I used to say 'Don't go there', but that's..lame"

14. Episode: "The Fight"

"Would I rather be feared or loved? Um...easy, both.  I want people to be afraid of how much they love me, and I think I proved that today at the dojo."

Image credit here

Image credit here

13. Episode: "Boys and Girls"

"Now you may look around and see two groups here.  White collar/Blue collar.  But I don't see it that way and you know why not?  Because I am collar blind."

Image credit here

Image credit here

12. Episode: "The Carpet"

Michael: "I am the victim of a hate crime.  Stanley knows what I'm talking about."

Stanley: "That's not what a hate crime is."

Michael: "Well, I hated it!  A lot, okay?"

Image credit here

Image credit here

11. Episode: "Sexual Harassment"

"Todd Packer and I are total BFF...best friends forever.  He and I came up together as salesmen.  One time we were out and we met this; set of twins and Packer told them that we were brothers.  And, so you know.  One thing led to another and we brought 'em back to the motel...and then Packer...did both of 'em.  It was awesome...it was so..."

10. Episode: "Casino Night"

"Two queens on casino night.  I am going to drop a deuce on everybody."

Image credit here

Image credit here

9. Episode: "Casino Night"

"There are certain topics that are off-limits to comedians.  JFK, AIDS, the holocaust; the Lincoln assassination just recently became funny.  'I need to see this play like I need a hole in the head'....and I hope to someday live in a world where a person could tell a hilarious AIDS joke.  It's one of my dreams."

Image from here

Image from here

8. Episode: "Sexual Harassment"

"Toby is in HR, which technically means he works for corporate, so he's really not a part of our family.  Also, he's divorced so he's really not a part of his family."

Image credit here

Image credit here

7. Episode: "Casino Night"

(to Toby)

"Why are you the way that you are?  Honestly, every time I try to do something fun or exciting, you make it...not...that...way.  I hate so much about the things that you choose to be."

Image from this gallery

Image from this gallery

6. Episode: "Drug Testing"

"This year more people will use cocaine than will read a book to their children."

5. Episode: "The Fire"

"When I was Ryan's age, I worked in a fast food restaurant to save up money for school...and then I, lost it in a pyramid scheme, but I learned more about business right then and there than business school would ever teach me; or Ryan would ever teach me."

4. Episode: "Michael's Birthday"

Toby: "Didn't you lose a lot of money on that other investment?  The one from the e-mail."

Michael: "You know what Toby?  When the son of the deposed king of Nigeria e-mails you directly, asking for help; you help.  His father ran the freakin' country, okay?" 

3. Episode: "Take your Daughter to Work Day"

"Yes, it is true.  I, Michael Scott, am signing up with an online dating service.  Thousands of people have done it and I am going to do it.  I need a username and, I have a great one.  LittleKidLover, that way people will know exactly where my priorities are at."

2. Episode: "Halloween"

"Yeah, I went hunting once.  Shot the deer in the leg, had to kill it with a shovel.  Took about an hour.  Why do you ask?"

Image credit here

Image credit here

1. Episode: "The Secret"

"Keeping a secret can only lead to trouble. Like I was watching Cinemax last weekend, this movie.  Portrait of a prostitute or something..secrets of a ca...More Secrets of a Call Girl, and the lead character, Shyla, is framed for murder.  Goes on the run and winds up working at a bordello in Malibu.  I don't, I don't wanna live like that.  I like it here.  I don't wanna be Shyla.  I like being Michael Scott."

Well, there you have it.  Any of your favorites on there?  Did I leave something out?  Let me know in the comments below and tune in soon for Season 3.

(main image credit here. The Office is a NBC property.)